digging out a splinter
to find that it has shattered
that it pervades my being
memories of glances, remarks
absences I didn’t notice
the overall tone of my childhood
even as my mother said her rosary
and loved loved loved
the air was thick with it
like LA smog
I breathed it in
to dismantle it means
dismantling my entire self
to rebuild me so much work
exhausted, frightened, culpable
still it must be done
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